Crystal's Bio Help/Editing

[Crystal.Light]

I can help you make a bio, but you need a pretty good idea of what you want. This is also a good place to go if your bio was rejected and you want help getting it accepted. Use the same bio form as they have when you post it in the applications.

My literacy leavel is somewhat high and I use proper grammer, but I don't write things the hard way if there is an easy way, and don't use big, uncommon words just to show off. I guess you could say that I edit bios and tell you in more detail what needs work.

[Crystal.Light]

Since I guess nobody needs bio help, I am now going to post weekly tips on how to make better bios. Tip of the week: Do not make your character a 'Mary-Sue' (or whatever it's called for boys). A Mary-Sue is a character that is perfect. Here's an example of such a bio.

Cat's Name: Bolderflight (This will be the example name because I'm pretty sure nobody will use it)
Gender: She-Cat
Age: 36 Moons
Rank: Senior Warrior
Clan: RiverClan
Personality: Bolderflight is a great cat. She has fought in many battles and come out without a scratch. Even though Bolderflight's a little young, they named her a senior warrior for her sucess. She isn't a snob though. She has many friends and easily pickes up more because she can keep a seacret, be very understanding, and is almost never angry. She can also hunt and fish really well.
Appearance: Bolderflight is extremely beautiful, perhaps the most beautiful now that Silverstar is dead. Her fur is pure white and shines, and she has striking amber eyes. As said in her personality, she is such a good warrior that she never gets hurt.
History: As soon as Bolderflight could talk she became the most popular of the kits. She always knew just the right thing to say, even better than the leader often, but she didn't rub it in and still doesn't. When she was apprenticed, Bolderflight found that she was also one of the most talented cats in the clan, better than most warriors...

Okay, I didn't finish the history, but you get the idea. It's no fun to roleplay with somebody who's character is better than them in every way. Can you imagine if everybody's character was like that? The site would be a mess. So, please, give your character a flaw or two!

[Fernstorm]

NICE TIP

[Crystal.Light]

Alright, tip #2: Don't make your character a Eus-Yram. This is the exact opposite of a Mary-Sue (incase you didn't notice, "Eus-Yarm" is "Mary-Sue" spelled backwards.) These are characters with no good qualities, not counting skill or beauty. I personally think these are worse than Mary-Sues (or, as I recently found out, Gary-Sues if your character is a guy,) because they are impossible to deal with, and that's no fun to roleplay with.
Really, nobody is pure evil, even Tigarclaw had some good characteristics. He was brave and strong, even if he did want to take over the clan.
Perhaps it's just me, but characters like this drive me nuts. And the worst part is that more experienced roleplayers seem to be the ones who make these. Mary-Sues are usually by new people who don't know better, but Eus-Yrams seem to be by RPrs who have high literacy and know what they're doing.
Another annoying thing is that these characters always seem to be in the 'evil' clan, be it DarknessClan, DoomClan, ShadowClan, or whatever it's called. This overpopulates the clan, and it makes the other clans less active.
I know that it's sometimes fun to roleplay mean characters, but just don't overdo it. Seriously, don't even try it.

[Crystal.Light]

Tip #3
Don't try to impress us by trying to sound "Fancy". Use normal words. Keep away from details that don't add anything to what you're trying to say. I'm going to use a bio from another site.
Personality: Despite that this little monster has a penchant for feigning a cover-personality of unfriendly disinterest, Beatrice is completely deadpan at all times. Whether for better or worse, she is emotionally neutral outside of her plaintive habits, to the point where some people wonder if she's just a robot with nice hair. Nothing gets to her, and it's hard to get more than five consecutive words out of her at one time, much harder to get her to smile or frown or do anything that involves being in one emotional extreme from another. Talking to Beatrice is essentially the same as trying to hold a conversation with a rock unless she likes you, in which case she might put in a word or two every week or so. Those who consider themselves her friends —which are a very, very, very rare few — have scarcely heard her speak more than strictly necessary, and even then, it’s monosyllabic and just above a murmur. Now, she's not elitist, and she's certainly not trying to put on airs, but she just feels that words should be used only when body language fails. Okay… and yes, she’s just a little weird. Bar the fact that she eats paper and paint chips without giving them a second thought — often without even realizing she’s doing it — Bea has quite a few odd quirks that she seems to not be able to get over, which include but are not limited to her “nervous” habit of folding her hands behind her back (nervous in quote because she doesn’t really get nervous) and snapping rubber bands against her hands...
Source: roseacademy1.proboards74.com/index.cgi?board=rejectedbios&action=display&thread=1195790218
Get the picture? If you clicked on the link you saw that there were several more paragraphs discribing that character. That bio took an hour to read, not counting the time it took to look up all those words in the dictionary! Please, you don't have to say every little thing. Choose the most important points.